White page in my life !

Three days ago, all the family (when I say family I am referring to my relatives) looked down on me. You know why? They want me to be in hell, not to get any progression in my educational life. The envy, hatred in their eyes and the lies they’re inventing that they care about me. So sarcastic!

They believe I am a person without personality, careless, a bitch and described me in many ugly ways. I bear it and shut my mouth then I said yes! I am a dirty girl and I didn’t deserve anything good any more just to satisfy them. I swear by God I didn’t do anything bad but I have to be patient till the sunshine appears. Patience is necessary in these particular days where I am in. God only stays with me and even my parents, even my sisters leave me alone. They lost the trust in me without reason. I never care because God is here and one day they will know the truth. One of my uncle‘s called me a liar. I feel sorry to consider them my true relatives, they are just names. I don’t want them in my life ever. They say ‘because I sit on the internet for long hours I am a bad girl, I let them say whatever because no one will benefit me. Who will help me you uncle? Or you? You are the fault and that’s enough for you to complete this drama. I will go on my way and you; you’re not worth a shit. 
Complicated minds, strict and no one dare to hear the truth. You just want to destroy me but keep that in your dreams. You’re in illusion that I am not a good girl. Just a minute, why can’t you say yes?! She stayed up all the night to achieve her dreams? Is it a crime if you think positive?

Alright, I didn’t get high marks at the university; the main factor that didn’t help me was I couldn’t go along with the university as long as I wanted to study medicine. Many persons stopped in my way and refused me to travel abroad. Okay! I don’t need any one of you to help; I can work hard and achieve everything alone. Congratulations to your mind Uncle and congratulation to your heart that you forever hate me and you already do.

I am not a slave and I will not allow anyone to use me as a slave even you my relatives. What did you do? And what did you gain? Abusing me in front of my parents?  I know nothing and I have to say Bravo! You did well and you were successful in abusing me, but don’t forget that I am not a weak person. I just wait for the right moment to react and bring with me the proof to make you see since you are blinded by hatred. I am not your relative and you have to cut all relations with me, is that understand to both of you uncles? 

My dad, I promise you again that I will make you proud of me one day and believe me I did nothing wrong or bad. I am Rana the same person you know.

To sum up, everything will be fine its just a matter of time. All my relationships are dead from uncle to aunt. 

One advice to both of my uncles and you don’t deserve to be called ‘uncle’ any more  You are a talent actually in telling lies but don’t get the world by its tail. And to my other uncle don’t boss me! 
Excuse my liberty! You and you. I will take no harm from others behaviour especially my relatives. From this moment I will treat everyone as he/she treats me except my parents and whatever I did, I couldn’t be like those cruel people around me. 

At least my heart is pure full of love, peace and good things but you just act and live with double faces. By the way, you are a biggest loser not anybody else. Taste what is pain? Tell me how you feel when someone closest to you accuses you as a dirty person? Will you be normal or behave violently and get nervous? Keep out of my way, and I will keep out of yours.

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One of the tragic stories -Gaza

People in Gaza had witnessed difficult moments in the previous days; no one can sleep, go out or do some activities as everyone stayed at home. Today, I realised a new area that I have never heard of which is called “Meraj” it linked Rafah city with Khanyounis. I walked slowly watching strange things. The style of the life there is totally different. The homes are close to one another with no space between them, what I noticed also there was the fact that many animals have been living amongst them.

 Since the escalation in Gaza, Israel has destroyed many places, killing many people and one of those victims was the “Al Nasasra family”. This family lived in a normal or less normal home containing two bed rooms, one hall, one bathroom and one kitchen. It’s a big family including three sons (18, 19, I think the third 22) and eight girls the oldest is 21 years old and the rest are still in the age range of 6-15 years old. The father married three wives two of them have passed away for a long time. As a result of the enemy attack he lost 2 of his sons and the third is in the intensive care. Also his third wife is blind now, there are 18 stitches in her brain and her face burned.  Although his daughters some of them are wounded and the father himself is wounded (light injuries in his leg). He is currently engaged. 

Israel forces targeted the home at 10 in the night by an F 16 rocket which ruined the entire home and nothing remains more than a big hole in the middle of the land. I made a step toward the oldest girl in the family I asked her how that happened and how did you feel. In a sad way she said I still now do not believe it, I thought it was a nightmare. She talked continuously and then said all the members of her family were sleeping; the home was silent at night. She said “I just woke up to the sound of shouting and running in the street. Everyone divided in everywhere. I saw nothing remain the bed in the left and the blanket in the right. They found the body parts volatile. I gave her the space to talk about what she wanted to say and send her message to the world. She said in few words “Down with Israelis and God with us”. Now, they are dwelling in their grandfather’s house and five families live in the same home. Look at how miserable it is for them, the situation is so difficult. 

I felt my heart breaking, eyes dripping tears and all my body shaking. I wonder from the determination of the girl and her strength by saying ‘God just test our patience’ and then I went to the little child and kissed her forehead, the place of her wound.

Gaza in new Season !

After the war on Gaza and the long suffering with the Zionist drones, Gaza celebrates victory at this moment. I was celebrating with the guys outside and I raised the slogan ‘Free Free Palestine’ and ‘Long live Gaza’. 

Today I woke up feeling full of energy this morning. I slept well at least I didn’t hear drones or bombing . This morning was unique in a way, the smell of victory and our martyrs now asleep in grief but their souls still remind us that they are our heroes , those who brought this day to Gaza . 

Gaza was shining today, though Israel destroyed many sites within it. All the streets were full of children and everything was open. Life returned to normal for Palestinian people but at the same time we feel sorry about the loss of our martyrs including many of the little children. May their beautiful souls rest in peace! 

Before, I was at my mother‘s brother house celebrating the new bore. They all were happy, I enjoyed the moments a lot, I danced, talked and now I can say I am totally satisfied. I remember one of my aunts asked my Mom: Did you bore Rana dancing? I laughed from my heart and created a real happiness. 

Now, it is raining here in all parts of Gaza. It’s the best season for me. Rain makes you pure, it cleans everything. I am writing with one eye on the screen and the other staring at the black sky which it’s covered with bright stars. The voice of thunder is horrible but I enjoyed the rain a lot. Rain is the source of my inspiration, I opened my window and I felt the drops of rain fall to my face and hair. 

We believe we are hurt when we don’t receive love. But that is not what hurts us. Our pain comes when we do not give love. We were born to love. You might say that we are divinely created love machines. We function most powerfully when we are giving love. The world has led us to believe that our well-being is dependent on other people loving us. But this is kind of upside down thinking that has caused so many of our problems. The truth is our well being is dependent on us giving love. It is not about what comes in; it is about what goes out!
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The End of operation pillar of cloud !

I live in Khan Yunis in the Gaza Strip. I am nineteen years old and I have been watching the bombing of my land with a lot of pain in my heart. Finally, on the eighth day of the war a ceasefire was announced. During the last couple days, Israel expanded their operations with gunboats and rocket attacks everywhere that targeted everyone. I am so angry my blood is boiling. Why? Why? Israel raped my land yet the United States, Arab leaders, even foreign institutions remained silent. We, the people of Gaza know you sympathize with us but we need you to put your sympathy into action.

Five hours before I sat down to write to you a two year old boy was killed in repeated shelling at a media office. He was killed so brutally that I cannot describe it to you. Who knows about this? Who cares about this? I saw the father, his heart broken and his eyes full of tears, carry the boy’s body. The boy’s name is Abed Elrahman Naem. The little boy’s father hadn‘t seen any of his children in eight days because he works as a doctor at al Shifa Hospital. But today he saw him dead. Can you imagine being called to find your own child’s body, your own flesh and blood? That is what was happening for the past eight days.

Israel has now destroyed most of Gaza. Families had gathered at the UN school in Gaza City, where they felt safest, but while we were there three rockets landed nearby. No place was safe in Gaza, not schools, hospitals or universities. Israel randomly targeted houses. Nearly everyone had to wait their turn before their homes were bombed.  It was impossible to sleep. We stayed up all night with our clothes and shoes on because we knew that the IDF might target any home.

“Never forget, never forgive. That’s what the Israelis taught us”. No truce without accepting our conditions. Yes! Today was a victory for the people of Gaza. The end of Israel is near… Now I am one of the happiest people. My people are celebrating now in the streets of Gaza. What a great feeling it is! I just go out and feel the elation with the women in my area.

The voices of the world nations must be united; the Gazan‘s voice will be the victorious one. My faith in God is huge, our slogan is Allah Akbar! (God is Great!). Victory is to us with the power of God, Lord of the Universe, and it is written in al-Qur’an victory is to the Muslims. We give a promise that Gaza will never cry again. At this moment, the bombing from East and West has totally stopped; I swear by God that we will have victory!!
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The names of The Palestinian Martyrs !

According to Medecial Sources the number raised up to 141 including 32 children , 10 women and 12 eldery , more over 900 casualties among them 260 children , 140 women and 50 eldery people.
here, the list of the names of Martyrs :
1. Ahmad Al-Ja’bary, 52 years old.
2. Mohammed Al-Hams, 28 years old.

3. Rinan Arafat, 4 years old.
4. Omar Al-Mashharawi, 11 Month old
5. Essam Abu-Alma’za, 20 years old.
6. Mohammed Al-Qaseer, 20 years
old.
7. Heba Al-Mashharawi, six-months pregnant, 19 years old.
8. Mahmoud Abu Sawawin, 65 years old.
9. Habis Hassan Mismih, 29 years old.
10. Wael Haidar Al-Ghalban, 31 years old.
11. Hehsam Mohammed Al-Ghalban, 31 years old.
12. Rani Hammad, 29 years old.
13. Khaled Abi Nasser, 27 year old.
14. Marwan Abu Al-Qumsan, 52 years old.
15. Walid Al-Abalda, 2 years old.
16. Hanin Tafesh, 10 months old.
17. Oday Jammal Nasser, 16 years old.
18. Fares Al-Basyouni, 11 years old.
19. Mohammed Sa’d Allah, 4 years old.
20. Ayman Abu Warda, 22 years old.
21. Tahrir Suliman, 20 years old.
22. Ismael Qandil, 24 years old.
23. Younis Kamal Tafesh, 55 years old.
24. Mohammed Talal Suliman,28 years old.
25. Amjad Mohammed Abu-Jalal, 32 years old.
26. Ziyad Farhan Abu-Jalal, 23 years old.
27. Ayman Mohammed Abu Jalal, 44 years old.
28. Hassan Salem Al-Heemla’, 27 years old.
29. Khaled Khalil Al-Shaer, 24 years old.
30. Ayman Rafeeq Saleem, 26 years old.
31. Ashraf Hassan Darwish, 22 years old
32. Osama Mousa Abdel Jawwad, 27 years old
33. Ali Abdul Hakim Almana’ama, 20 years old
34. Mokhlis Adwan, 30 years old
35. Ahmed Osama Al-Atroosh, 22 years old
36. Mohammed Saleh Aloulhai, 22 years old
37. Awad Hamdy Al-Nahhal, 23 years old
38. Abdel Rahman Salem Al-Masri, 31 years old
39. Mohammed Mahmoud Yassin, 24 years old
40. Osama Abdel Jawad, 25 years old
41. Ali Hassan Ali bin Said, 25 years old, killed in an attack on his motorbike in Deer Al-Balah, central Gaza, at 8:10 pm, November 17.
42. Mohammed Sabri Al Weydaat, 25 years old
43. Osama Yousif Al-Qadi, 26 years old.
44. Ahmed Salem Salama Said, 42 years old
45. Hani Abdel Majid Aberriam, 21 years old
46. Samaher Khalil Qudeih, 28 years old
47. Tamer Al Hemry, 26 years old
48. Tamer Salameh Abu Sufyan, 3 years old
49. Jumana Salameh Abu Sufyan, 1 years old
50. Muhamed Abu Nuqira, age unconfirmed
51. Iyad Abu Khousa, 18 months old
52. Tasneem Zuhaer Al Halal, 13 years old
53. Ahmad Essam Al-Nahhal, 25 years old
54. Nawal Farag Abdelaal, 52 years old
55. Ahmed Hassan, 27 years old
56. Mohammed Jamal Al Dalou, (grandfather of Dalou family), Age Unconfirmed
57. Ibrahim Mohammed Jamal Al Dalou, 1 year old
58. Raneen Mohammed Jamal Al Dalou, 5 years old
59. Jamal Mohammed Jamal Al Dalou, 7 years old
60. Yousef Mohammed Jamal Al Dalou, 10 years old
61. Samah Al Dalou, 25 years old
62. Sulafa Al Dalou, 46 years old
63. Tahani Al Dalou, 50 years old
64. Amina Matar Al-Mzanner, 83 years old
65. Abdallah Mohammed Al-Mzanner, 23 years old
66. Jamal Al Dalou, (father of Dalou family), age unconfirmed
67. Hussam Abu Shaweesh, 37 years old
68. Suhail Hammad, 45 years old
69. Mo’min Hammad, 15 years old
70. Atiyyeh Mubarak, 54 years old
71. Mohammed Bakr Al-Of, 24 years old, killed in an attack on Al-Yarmouk st. in Gaza city.
72. Samy Al Ghfeir, 22 years old, killed in an attack on Shijaiyya area, west Gaza.
73. Nabeel Ahmad Abu Amrra, age unconfirmed
73. Ahmed Abu Amra, age unconfirmed
75. Hussein Jalal Nasser, 8 years old
76. Jalal Nasr, 39 years old
77. Sabha Al-Hashash, 60 years old.
78. Saif Al-Deen Sadeq, age unconfirmed
79. Ahmad Hussein Al-Agha, age unconfirmed
80. Emad Abu Hamda, 30 years old, killed after being seriously injured in as a drone fired a rocket at Beach camp, west Gaza.
81. Mohammed Salama Jindiyya, 31 years old and mentally disabled, killed in an attack on Helles roundabout in Shijaiyya, west Gaza.
82. Saadiyeh Al Tayyub, age unconfirmed
83. Nawal Abdel Ali, age unconfirmed
84. Ahmad Najeeb, age unconfirmed
85. Nisma Abu Zour, 19 years old
86. Mohammed Iyad Abu Zour, 5 years old
87. Sahar Abu Zour, age unconfirmed
88. Ahed Al Qattati, 38 years old
89. Al Abd Mohammed Al Attar, age unconfirmed
90. Rami Al Shandi, 1 year old
91. Ibrahim Suleiman Al Astal, 46 years old
92. Omar Mahmoud Mohammed Al Astal, 14 years old
93. Abdullah Abu Khater, 21 years old
94. Mahmoud Saed Abu Khater, 34 years old
95. Rashid ‘Alyan Abu ‘Amra, 45 years old
96. Amin Zuhdi Bashir, 40 years old
97. Tamer Rushdi Bashir, 30 years old
98. Hussam Abdeljawad, age unconfirmed
99. Ramadan Ahmad Mahmoud, 20 years old, died of injuries after two days
100.Mohammed Riyad Shamallakh, 23 years old
102.Hassan Al Nahhal, age unconfirmed
103.Mohammed Sha’ath, age unconfirmed
104.A’ed Rady, 50 years old
105.Ameen Malahi, age unconfirmed
106.Ramez Harb, Commander of Al Quds Brigades, age unconfirmed
107.Saleem Sweilaam, age unconfirmed
108.Mohammed Ziyad Tbeil, age unconfirmed
109.Arkan Abu Kameil, age unconfirmed
110.Ibrahim Al-Hawajir, age uncofirmed
111.Khalil Shehada, age unconfirmed
112.Osama Shehada, ahe unconfirmed
113.Amina Hijazi, (mother of Hijazi family) age unconfirmed
114.Sohaib Fouad Hijazi, 2 years old
115.Mohammed Fouad Hijazi, 3 years old
116.Fouad Khalil Hijazi, (father of Hijazi family) age unconfirmed
117.Hamza Falah, 25 years old
118.Rushdi Tamimi, age unconfirmed
119.Ahmad Tawfeeq Al Nasasra, 17 years old
120.Mohammed Tawfeeq Al Nasasra, 15 years old
121.Akram Ma’aroof, 38 years old
123.Mohammed Daghmash, died of injuries, age unconfirmed
124.Mohammed Rezaq Al Zahra, age unconfirmed (30s)
125.Yahya Mohammed Awad, 15 years old
126.Bilal Al Barawi, 20 years old
127.Aberrahman Hamad Abu Hamza, 22 years old
128.Mohammed Bader, age unconfirmed
129.Ahmad Doghmoush, died of injuries, age unconfirmed
130.Sobhiu Doghmoush, age unconfirmed
131.Salah Dogh,mouush, age unconfirmed
132.Ameen Al-Dod, 22 years old
133.Ayman Rafiq Abu Rashid, age unconfirmed
135.Saber Bulbul, age unconfirmed
136.Tareq Hjeila, age unconfirmed
137.Zia Abu Al qaray, age unconfirmed
138.Mohammad As-Shour, 8 years old
139.Mahmoud Al-Koomi, age unconfirmed
140.Hussam Salama, age unconfirmed
141.Mohammed Abu Aisha, age unconfirmed

The International Children‘s Rights Day‘s In Gaza !

Every year, November 20th reminds us of the ‘International Children’s Rights Day’. As I was browsing the web I realised this day is celebrated in all countries except Palestine. In 1954, the UN recommended that “Every country should introduce a Children’s Day which will be devoted to fraternity and comprehension amongst children of the world and which will stand out by activities encouraging the well-being of children worldwide”.

Now, who is sponsoring our children in this case (war)? Who truthfully cares about them? All I see is talk but no reactions or actions. Our Arab leaders are just names as they are afraid of losing their authority and the chair on the other hand are working in conspiring against us.

This day reminds us also about ‘humanity’ that we must give children the best of what we can provide. When I read it I laughed out loud with mixed emotions, tears running down my face. I ask the world ‘WHERE IS THE HUMANITY?’ ‘WHERE ARE THE LAWS OF JUSTICE?’ ‘IS THERE ANY HUMANITY LEFT ON EARTH?’ It only takes one look at our children and you will realise the world has failed on us. Our children are deprived of basic human rights. Israel, you must be thanked for the gifts you send to our children right? 11 members of the same family were killed in the name of self –defence and you targeted the innocent little children. Your children shall be put in the same fate one day. I am writing as I am totally exhausted and helpless.

I did not imagine that one of my little brothers would ask me this question; Rana, the child Hamid (who was murdered lately at the age of 13 years old) had the right to play around his home right? so what are these rights they are calling? I was shocked, I had no reply.

We believe in equality and inherent value of all human life. We believe that a view of the world bound by borders is inhuman and outdated and that stopping injustice anywhere is the responsibility of every human being. No one can deny that the children in Gaza are living under awful circumstances. Why must these children suffer and live under fire? In reality, our children do not live their life as all their rights are stolen by Israel and still the western world believe we are exaggerated.

Our children witness a bloody battle in which many other children, women and elderly people are killed. Today, I couldn’t go anywhere. I planned to visit some orphaned children and bring them some gifts instead of them seeing the bloody scenes every day. They are always in my thoughts if not today, tomorrow I shall go and cheer them up. At least I can help to draw a smile on their beautiful faces. I swear by God they do not deserve what is happening to them.

What a criminal world we live in where no one cares if a part of the world is facing injustice, inequality, no freedom, continuous oppression and killings! Only truth and real justice will heal the hearts of the Palestinians.

Aldalw Family‘s Massacre !

I can‘t Express my deep sadness , sorrows and no words to express my anger.
Today at 5:15pm, Israeli Occupation forces commit a terrible crime against Al-Dalow family. The whole family was killed with cold blood and no mercy. I am writing and my whole body trembling, my eyes dripping tears and my heart bleeding. Twelve people from the same family were brutally murdered including children, women, and elderly people. Shall I congratulate Israel for achieving its targets? Does Obama still think Israel has the right to self-defense?

As long as I am a Palestinian, will never give up, and the resistance will carry on firing the rockets to our Occupied territories. The world, unfortunately, has failed to stop Israel’s violations of human rights, breaking the siege of Gaza which has been imposed on Gaza for almost six years and still going on, and it is the time for the people of consciousness and grassroots organisations to take actions and embarrass their governments to hold Israel accountable for its war crimes and crimes against humanity. Our children have been experiencing hard circumstance and suffering to cope with life under fire. The huge number of bombings and shellings make the life unbearable. There is no safe place to take refuge from the Israeli missiles all over Gaza strip. Stop the massacre, stop the injustice, stop the war!

The time has come that the world take concrete actions to stop these gross atrocities against Palestinian civilians in Gaza. Human rights are violated 24/7. We witness global demonstrations across world’s cities from Washington, London, Paris, Stockholm, Copenhagen, Cairo…etc., calling for stopping the massacre and the war immediately. Most of the slogans raised were calling for increasing the boycott campaigns until Israel fully complies with the International law and respects the human rights principles. There is no wonder how fragile the Arab world is to show real support for the people of Gaza. The majority of the mainstream media in the west are biased and complicit with the Israeli Occupation. The children and women of Palestine are being killed with cold blood and the whole world is busy preparing to celebrate the Christmas.

According to medical sources, over 70 people were killed among whom 20 children, 8 women, 9 elderly people, and over 660 injuries, among whom 224 children, 113 women and 50 elderly people. 
The last bombing targeted Twam area near Hejazi clinic yard, many ambulances rushed to the place to evacuate the casualties but the whole building was brought into mere rubble. Firstly, I could hear the bombings, then I hear first the sky lightened like the thunder shaking my house like if it was an earthquake.
I cannot differentiate between the day and night while the Israeli war planes and drones spread all over the cloud of Gaza and naval gunships from the sea. Our message to the world to stop funding the Israeli Occupation by stop paying the taxes to their governments and initiate divestments proposals from companies profiting from the Israeli Occupation and its policies.

Israel targeted Sammouni family in the last war 2008/09 and the world’s reaction was nothing, today’s target is Al-Dalow’s family, but this time the world must do something to stop Israel from committing another massacre. Freedom and justice shall prevail in Palestine!
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